Unsure - Curious - New|
Getting into the lifestyle is easy but it is scary too. I suppose it is easy for us to tell you no need to be nervous, but really, it is true. Everyone in the lifestyle was new at one time and everyone moves at their own pace. When you join a club you dont need to feel any pressure. You are free to do as little or as much as you like. Also, people get into the lifestyle because of different interests (such as: voyeurism, exhibitionism, swapping, etc.). If you are considering getting into the lifestyle in order to fix a problem in your relationship, DONT!!! This is not the kind of activities that will fix a relationship. However, if you want to enhance your relationship this could be the perfect route. Always be up front with each other and others you may talk with. Let them know what your interests are and find out what they are looking for. It is perfectly ok to be curious but unsure.
Misconceptions and Helpful Hints
False: People in the swinging lifestyle are just interested in sex and not friendship.
True: The majority of the people in the swinging lifestyle are very much interested in Friendship first and then sex (or partying). There is a vast variety of people in the lifestyle and they all have their own view on the way they see swinging in their life. We all have to determine for ourselves what swinging means to us. But our personal experience has been, that the people in this lifestyle are warm, friendly and caring people who love the freedom that comes with it. It is important that you get to know the different types of clubs available in your area and attend the club that fits what you are looking for.
False: Once you have committed to meet with someone who is in the lifestyle you are obligated to have sex with them.
True: Meeting or spending time with others is simply that, getting to know each other. Once you get acquainted you can decide if you would like to party with them and they can decide if they want to party with you. Everyone has the option to say yes or no. Never assume just because you hit it off socially that automatically means you will have sex. Think about it, you must have friends that you really enjoy being around socially, but would not want to have sex with. Everyone involved needs to be comfortable with the situation. We never recommend meeting people through ads. It is much safer to meet couples at adult swing clubs first.
False: Everyone is a 10, a knock out with a great body and good looks.
True: People in the lifestyle come in all shapes, sizes and colours. However, we have found that the majority of them are very beautiful people (from within), from all walks of life and a variety of ages. You will find many ads expressing a desire to meet a perfect 10 couple or sometimes called Ken & Barbie. Couples that only express a desire to meet a Ken & Barbie are severely restricting the number of possible matches with other lifestyle couples. Most of the pics you see on our web site and others are mostly made up of models. Most couples at our club and many other are made up of average people you would meet at your local store or theatre.
False: In a swing club situation, you shed your clothing at the door.
True: Most clubs are casual dress, with clothing optional rules in different areas of the club. They all vary somewhat and you should get the details on it from each club. A lot of the ladies in the adult clubs will wear sexy, shear clothing or lingerie. Some will bring a few changes of clothes with them. Some couples have robes to put on after they have visited the hot tub or just wear a towel (again different clubs have different rules). You can stay as you arrive, change or disrobe whatever is comfortable for you and allowed. Be sure you ask what the rules are at each club. Every club is different.
False: In a swing club situation, anyone is up for grabs. You can take liberties (fondle, goose, etc.) anyone in the club.
True: No one has the right to walk up and take any liberties with anyone else without the approval of that person. Even if there is a lady/gentleman standing naked in front of you, without her/his approval you do not touch. No means No, No Exception!! It is very important that you understand this rule, it is the golden rule in swinging.
False: In a swing club situation, you are expected to have sex.
True: Everyone moves at their own pace. People get into the lifestyle for different interests. Some people like to just watch others, some like to be watched. Some want to get together with other couples, or singles. There are others who just like the relaxed atmosphere of an adult club and the freedom to enjoy themselves without inhibitions. Most swing clubs do not permit sexual intercourse at their club, you must do it OFF Premise! Only clubs that permit full sexual contact and intercourse are called ON Premise clubs. You are never expected to have sex at either type of club, theses choices are always yours to make.
False: In a swing club situation, the activities always consist of a big orgy with a bunch of mattresses on the floor.
True: Most on-premise clubs have a variety of activities. The clubs vary in the activities such as dancing (with DJ), hot tubs, swimming pool, pool tables, adult films, weekly themes and contest, BYOB bar, buffet, overnight accommodations, and of course open and closed party areas. Always ask before attending a new club. It is very important you understand the types of swing clubs available in your area.
False: In an on-premise swing club situation, if we decide to get active and have sex, we are expected to perform oral and anal sex.
True: Anal sex is rare at most clubs, but is enjoyed by many in private. Rarely do you see anyone forcing a consenting sex partner to do anything they feel uncomfortable about. Most on-premise swing clubs have special events for new swingers or 1st timers. All new couples to swinging are treated with tenderness and understanding. Experienced swingers have all been there themselves and do not want to scare away any new potential swingers to the lifestyle.
False: In a private invite to a new couples home to swap partners, you can have sexual intercourse without asking.
True: Many couples will invite you to get together at their home, but for many different reasons. Sometimes one of the new partners will invite you and your partner to their home and comment dont tell my wife, I want to make it a surprise. You will avoid big mistakes when you talk about get togethers as a foursome and lay down a few ground rules before getting together privately. Even if the get together was agreed upon to swap partners and have sexual intercourse, many things can change a persons feelings. Always ask and remember NO is always NO!
False: Most swingers dont use any condoms and sexually transmitted diseases run rampant among swingers.
True: Many couples are surprised to find out that most swingers do use condoms on all occasions. There are a number of men and women that do not like condoms and prefer not to use them, but if asked they will use them without hesitation. We have over 200 member couples and approx. 50% use condoms and 50% prefer not to, but will use them when asked.
Most swingers are made up of married couples, middle to high income, highly educated, have children and their hygiene practices are better than the average population. Most sexually transmitted diseases are curable today and are rarely found among the swinging community. Most couples are very surprised to find out that STDs are rare among swingers. Even AIDS is rare or never heard of in the swing community. In 20+ years of swinging we have never known or heard of any person with AIDS or contracting it in the swinging community.