Choosing A Swing Club|
Before you contact the owners of an adult club via email or phone, it is very important that both of you understand the differences between On Premise and Off Premise Clubs. You should always choose a club that makes BOTH of you feel comfortable and the club is hosting activities that interest BOTH of you.
It is vital that new couples start in a club that meets their mutual sexual desires. Both of you know in your heart what you want to do or what freedom you are willing to give your partner. You must know your limits of play and what activities excite both of you the most. Most clubs can be broken down into three types of clubs, Off Premise, Mixed and On Premise.
We like to describe the three levels of adult clubs like Elementary School, High school and University. Like school, the largest groups of people can be found in Elementary School and the smallest groups can be found in University. The training and activities get harder as you progress through the different levels of education. Some couples are comfortable and both ready for University for their first club, but many couples have mixed feelings about where to start or how far to go. If you are mixed in your decision, you must start at Elementary School and both work your way to University if both of you wish to move up. Most experienced swingers can be found at University.
You must play where you both feel comfortable! Even some beginners will feel out of place at Elementary School, because mentally and physically they are ready for University. There are many differences between the clubs at each level as well, such as age groups, location, activities, costs, screening, restrictions etc. that may be a factor or concern for both of you. Remember that age groups are not a critical factor in swinging, only for your comfort level. What is most critical, is that you are with a group of people that are engaging in the same things that turn both of you on.
It is Normal To Be Nervous
Many new couples to the lifestyle are very nervous of making the first step to visit an adult club fearing their functions are attended by large numbers of gawkers, exhibitionists, voyeurs and sex is being performed in ever corner. All clubs are very sensitive to making new couples feel at home and go to great lengths to provide a discreet and safe environment. Before attending a new adult club, be sure and address any fears or questions you may have about their functions. You will be pleasantly surprised that you were not the first couple to ask the same question or had similar fears.
Club owners and couples in the lifestyle want you to join them and this could be one of the most exciting adventures you and your partner take together. Many club owners will talk or meet with you privately to discuss the lifestyle, or your fears or show you their club. Many clubs offer orientation nights for new couples as well. Always go at the pace of the slowest partner!
Off Premise Clubs - Elementary School
Many new couples to the lifestyle will find these clubs first, because they generally have the largest attendance of any adult club and they are generally advertised by word of mouth, adult newspapers, local newspapers, internet, etc. There are many types of Off Premise Clubs and they offer many types of events from dancing, dinners, social gatherings in nightclubs, travel, private parties, theme events, ice-breaker games, introduction services, pool parties, private parties, conventions, and much, much more. Be sure to ask your local club what types of activities and events they can offer you. Almost all Off Premise Clubs have an informal screening process to ensure that you are an adult couple and in some form of relationship between each other.
Any new couple thinking of joining an adult club for the first time and are very nervous, should definitely make an Off Premise Club there first choice on this new adventure. You will meet every type of lifestyle couple at these clubs from the beginner (first time to an adult club) to couples that have been in the lifestyle for years. The variety of couples that you can meet is endless. Normally you will only see couples mixing and meeting with other couples at Off Premise clubs. Sexual activity at most Off Premise Clubs is restricted to fondling, touching, rubbing etc.
New couples interested in the full sexual aspect of the lifestyle and BOTH want to get involved in the physical aspect of the lifestyle on their first night out should consider a Mixed Club or On Premise club for your first event. If both of you are primarily interested in the sexual aspect of the lifestyle, Off Premise clubs will probably make you feel frustrated trying to find matching couples.
Since Off Premise clubs have the largest gathering of new couples to the lifestyle, there will be a great number of couples going through different stages of experimenting, feelings, jealousy, head games etc. It can take many visits to an Off Premise club to meet couples that match what you are both looking for. Most Off Premise Clubs will hold private parties where On Premise activities will take place.
Just a reminder that many couples attending Off Premise clubs have no intention of actually swinging with another couple. Many couples get their high or excitement by flirting, showing off or watching other couples at adult clubs. Just being in the presence of many sexually charged couples gets many couples hot and horny for each other when they get home.
Off/On Premise Clubs - High School
There are many types of Mixed private clubs such as swingers clubs, couples clubs, singles clubs, S & M clubs, B & D clubs and fetish clubs just to name a few. All prospective members are screened for suitability and many of these clubs do not publicly advertise, not even on the Internet. These clubs usually offer the same activities as the Off Premise Clubs with the distinct difference of focussing on one sexual preference such as swinging, bondage, nudity and other activities.
Because these types of clubs focus on one area, the memberships can be much smaller than the Off Premise clubs and do not meet as often. Not every couple is into S & M, but if a couple is looking for a sexual preference of B & D there are private clubs that devote all there activities toward their sexual preference. Most Mixed private clubs are usually by invitation, but many couples that are looking for a specific type of private club can find them on the Internet, word of mouth or by asking owners of other lifestyle clubs where to get in contact with couples into bondage, etc.
If you are invited to a private club, be sure and contact the owner or operators of the club to hear first hand what type of activities the club offers. Some Off Premise clubs will advertise that they are Off Premise, when many On-Premise activities actually take place, be very specific in your questions to the owners.
Most adult clubs today will hold Off Premise dance socials in a public building or hall and hold On-Premise activities in private homes of members.
On Premise Clubs - University
On Premise clubs primarily focus on the sexual aspect of the swinging lifestyle. All prospective members are screened for suitability and some On Premise clubs do not publicly advertise, not even on the Internet. These clubs usually offer the same activities as the Off Premise Clubs with the distinct difference of focussing on the sexual aspect of swinging with other consenting adults.
Because On Premise clubs focus on one area, the memberships can be much smaller than Off Premise clubs and do not meet as often. Not every couple is into the sexual aspect of the swinging lifestyle, so On Premise clubs would be the worst place to start. Most On Premise clubs are usually by invitation or a detailed screening process to determine if the couple both enjoy the sexual aspect of swinging and neither partner is pushing the other into the lifestyle. Never push or go along with your partner to an adult club just to make them happy, you will regret getting into the lifestyle unless you truly enjoy open sexual play.
Most On Premise clubs will not allow singles, exhibitionists only, voyeurs only or non committed couples. All swingers love to show off a little or watch their partner or others engaging in sexual play, but feel uncomfortable with couples only coming out to watch or show off without playing. We get couples asking us all the time about coming to our parties and watching our members have sex. Frankly, we are not a side show and the majority of our member couples would feel uncomfortable being watched. It is quite different to be a participant and watch all the other couples having sex beside you.
Swinging 101 at an On-Premise Club
Normally you will see couples mixing and meeting with other couples at On Premise clubs similar to Off Premise clubs with one very big difference! Most couples will mix with a variety of other partners at On Premise clubs. Rarely do you see couples matching couples. Most couples will each find a sexually attractive play mate and play as a foursome.
You will also see and play in many threesome activities at On Premise clubs. If you have been searching for the MFF or FMM combinations, you will definitely find them here! It is very hard in life to find two people that get along as a couple. Try to find two couples that each person finds the other persons partner attractive or exciting. Most couples will play with many different partners at an On Premise club and over time will match up with many different couples.
On Premise clubs are the worst place to start in the lifestyle if either one of you is very nervous or feels pushed into the lifestyle. If both of you are equally excited about playing sexually with other consenting adults, then On Premise clubs are your perfect playing ground, even if it is your first time to a club. Even couples who are participating at an On Premise club for the first time are able to play in safety, because every couple must respect NO means NO and if club owners are doing their job, pushy couples will not be given memberships in the club. We have seen the odd pushy person over the years, but primarily 98% of all swing couples respect your feelings and will know when to give you space.
On Premise clubs are not for every couple! Many new couples at On Premise clubs will play with their own partner on their first visit (approx. 20% at 4Play), unless they are both very adventurous and jump right in (approx. 80% at 4Play). Many experienced swingers will never push a new couple to do anything that feels uncomfortable. On Premise clubs go to great lengths to make new couples feel welcome, if not, new couples will not stay in the lifestyle. Yes, this type of activity in the above photo is what you are likely to see and welcome to participate in at our club in the large playroom, provided you have a consenting partner to play with.
It is very common for someone to reach over to the person beside them, like the lady playing with the mans balls. If you like it, tell her that it feels good. If you do not want the person to be touching you, just move the hand politely back to her leg or body. Actions like this speak louder than words. It does not take long before you feel very comfortable and safe in a group room.
There are so many types of conventions available for adults such as swingers, nudists, etc. These conventions are planned by individuals, clubs, organizations and even countries. Your local clubs will know about many of them and many clubs advertise these events in newsletters, word of mouth and the Internet. Most conventions will offer mixed levels of activities for singles and couples.
Even airlines and hotels give huge discounts for these organized events, even reserving entire high rise hotels for national events. Bring lots of energy and be prepared for a convention you will talk about for years to come.
Don't Give Up On Your First Few Tries
If you attend an On Premise or Off Premise club for the first time and you don't feel comfortable, don't let the first few experiences discourage you. Talk with other couples or the owners and let them know how you feel. Every club is different and you need to find a club that both of you feel comfortable in and the couples that are attending. There are a lot of couples out there that are willing to help.
There are many differences between the clubs, take your time to visit and play in a number of clubs. You will definitely find a few clubs that will become your favorites.
Over a period of time, you will find couples that match with both of you. Take the time to exchange addresses, emails and meet socially and sexually on occasion. Many of your new couples will be introducing you to their lifestyle friends over the years. Your list of compatible playmates will continue to grow and you will wonder why you did not get active in swinging much earlier.
Once both of you have decided on what type of club both of you would feel comfortable in, be sure to research all the available clubs in your local area before you dive in. Some couples only feel comfortable attending an adult club that is a considerable distance away from home, fearing they will bump into a co-worker, neighbor or family friend etc. If you do bump into couples that know you, don't forget that they are at the adult clubs to play privately as well!
Contact the owners of your club of choice via email or phone. In most cases in the swinging lifestyle you will never be asked for your last name unless clubs intend on mailing you information via snail mail. If you are not familiar with the club, ensure you ask if the club is ON-PREMISE or OFF PREMISE. There is a big difference between the two types of clubs and it is important to know what level of activities both of you are looking for. Ask what types of activities you can expect to see or participate in at the club. Some Off Premise clubs if they are operating out of a home will probably be engaged in many On Premise activities.
Let the club owners know that this will be your first time to a club. If you are nervous, don't be ashamed to say so, most couples are nervous the first time. Ask if the club owners if they can introduce you and your partner to other couples that have the same interests in sex as both of you. You will usually be introduced to other couples by the club owners on your first visit to a club if you want them to.